by James Tonin, Clubspaces Editorial Team

In a perfect world, it would bring out the best in a kid to have one of their parents doing double duty as the coach of his or her sports team. However, as we all well know, we don’t live in a perfect world; having mom or dad acting as the coach of the team can put a lot of pressure on the child, whether it’s intended or not. That pressure can come from a lot of sources: it can come from you (whether you realize it or not), and your child can put pressure on himself to live up to your expectations, whether you have them or not. Other kids on the team also tend to automatically expect more from the coach’s kid than they do from regular teammates.

So, how does a mom or dad go about being a good coach without making life on the team difficult for the kid? Child psychologists and sports experts agree on a few simple but effective strategies:

Communicate what to expect.

At the beginning of the season, sit down and talk to your child and make sure he or she understands that the game has nothing to do with your family life. Draw a clear line in the sand, differentiating what’s real and what’s a game. Take the time to reassure your child that his or her on-field performance is not a measure of your parental love.

Treat your child like any other member of the team.

A good coach helps players grow by offering constructive criticism that helps improve their play, and you shouldn’t shy away from correcting your child’s faulty game habits. Just make sure you dole it out in proportions equal to what the other kids get and, whatever you do, don’t show favoritism. Think of how much it will kill team spirit if you name your child the starting pitcher if it means relegating a talented fire-baller to the outfield.

Lead by example.

Remember, your child will always consider you their mom or dad first and their c oach second, but the other players on the team won’t. As a coach, it’s your responsibility to reward hard work and discourage laziness – regardless of which side of the coin your child falls on. Encourage a competitive spirit without going overboard, and help the kids on your team learn valuable life lessons about teamwork and fair play. After all, sports are a metaphor for life – that’s the one of the main reasons we encourage kids play them in the first place.